Anybody Seriously Wish To Tell About Trauma But Can Not Until Asked
I am hoping this isn't totally mad, but I've read a lot of posts about the unpleasant feelings about needing to expose trauma facts for your t. I'm working with almost the contrary.
I've many 'issues' that I'm aware of from an emotionally/verbally abusive stepfather to an adult that I trusted in HighSchool as being a maternal figure that revealed she had different tips for the connection... And what is daily becoming more of the confidence that I've repressed very early neglect (I have always had risks but am not hearing his and my style in my own head which isnot satisfying change of words)... I've NEVER told information on any one of this stuff. I've mentioned to two people that "something" occurred with this person I respected which was the extent. I am suffering from photographs, small video in my head of the ones from the and now these sounds of what I suppose.
Does this make sense to EVERYONE? I know I would be HIGHLY embaressed to state the things I'd have to and that I hope it isn't anything sick making me want to... But I am so worried we'll spend years tiptoeing across the facts because he thinks I am worried and that I am desperately wanting trauma, trauma, trauma to pour the beans. I wish I can tell him this, however it is not allowed.
I have discovered that I am unable to tell him SOMETHING if he does not ask directly and am dealing with at. I have told him this and he's proficient at attempting to ask me questions. The issue is, I also can not tell him things to ask. I understand it may sound absolutely mad, however it is like I'm banned to only readily tell things-but I am permitted to answer. He has gone backandforth about 'running' stress and I believe I am so silent about things happening that he does not think they starts to consider we must go another way and are. I get disappointed once I hear him need to stop trust about ever getting relief and obtain quite frustrated and talk about not addressing the stress particularly. It's like I UNDERSTAND I've to get out these details but I can not tell him that. I believe he's also worried I cannot handle dealing with the stress directly as a result of my panic attacks, but I really don't learn how to adjust some of this. I would like it so bad and I have learn about every one of these new techniques to deal with PTSD without detailed handling, although he talks about attempting to take action with as small detail and injury that you can.